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10 years ago, the day that my mother went to sleep, my heart felt like the water beginning to foam without having the pressure of the water. I might have been able to keep walking, to keep standing, to keep talking, but inside there was no weight of the heart at all. Even though I would light incense and promise with my mom that I would eventually be able to go back to being lively and fun, but deep down inside, I didn’t know if I would be able to find a way to become strong and to have life again.

I remember that after the funeral was over, I brought my mom home so that we could have the Buddhist ceremonies every Saturday.  During that time I was living day to day, as if I was floating. The liveliness had no evidence of returning. Until the day when Lady Oranuut gave notice that His Majesty and Her Royal Highness have invited me to come and sing as part of the celebration of His Majesty’s 50 years on the throne. In that moment, the excitement returned. Just watching the news, I was excited for those who were able to be in his presence, but I was going to be able to sing in front of him. It’s more exciting than I can explain.

I prepared 9 songs in total from the album “100 Love Songs.” I prepared by bringing backing tracks and sang the songs softly next to my mother’s shrine.  I told her that I was going to sing in front of the King and Queen. I would sing and talk to my mom, about this song and that song and that I would sing it like this.
When it got to the day where I would be in the presence of the King and Queen, I traveled to the palace with a picture of my mother in my left pocket.  I wanted my mom to be next to my heart. The excitement continued to build when Lady Oranuut brought us into this one room.  In that room, all royal family was there. I knelt over and bowed at His Majesty’s feet and he said “Bird you have a lot of work, but today I ask that you come here to help.” When I heard that, I became very tense, and His Majesty saw this and asked “Are you excited?”

Even though I was so tense to the point where I was shaking, I answered him “I’m very excited, your Majesty. I have also brought my mother here with me as well, she is in my pocket.” When I finished speaking, I bowed at his feet once more. His Majesty was kind and gave me this advice “If you are excited, then when you are up on the stage, close your eyes while you sing and the excitement will disappear on it’s own.”
And then it was time for me to sing, I was able to sing each other until the last song “Ton Mai Kong Por” (Father’s Tree) But do you believe me when I say that I didn’t hear the music or my own voice at all? In my ears it was …, so every song it was like it was coming out of my heart. When I finished singing, I went behind the stage and Lady Oranuut came with many other Ladies and said “I’m very happy for your Bird. Do you know that both the King and Queen could not stop clapping their hands? Those of us who have been in their service for a long time can tell right away, how happy they are by seeing the look in their eyes when watched you singing on the stage.”  That was enough to make the excitement rise to my throat in no time.   I had tears of happiness thinking that I could give a little bit of happiness to His Majesty and the Queen. But I had to control it.

Lady Oranuut called us out to line up to send off the King and Queen.  The second that His Majesty got to me, they stopped. I took the opportunity to touch their feet. Her Majesty was kind and said “You sing beautifully.”  But what was more than I could expect was when His Majesty said “The rice that you grow at Chiang Rai, I want you to keep doing it. You are a good person.” I replied “I will continue to do so, Your Majesty.” My skin, all over my body, it got goose bumps all over, in my heart I was touched to point where I don’t know how else it could be more than that.  Because it means that he has read one of the interviews I had done for Praew before where I talked about growing rice in Chiang Rai.

I told myself … I cannot cry, I cannot cry. But once we were finished with sending off the King and Queen, and we got back into the car, that was it. I began to cry. Once I got home, I hurried up and lit the incense and told my mom about everything, but really she saw everything because I brought her there with me.
The strength from being able to go see the King and Queen that once, made a heart which was fading return once more. I think in this life, that was the highest moment ever.  But who would have thought that just one month after that I would get strength once again, on birthday of Prince Peesadej Ratchanee (president of the royal project foundation). That day, I had the opportunity to bring a team of dancers  to  go sing in his “Pramual” palace and as soon as I found out that His Majesty would be there as well, I hurried up and prepared to bring rice from Baan Rai Udomsuk Chiang Rai in bags of gold and silver. If I had the opportunity, I wanted to be able to give it to His Majesty.
After I finished singing, myself and the team of dancers where given the opportunity to be in the presence of His Majesty. So when I bowed to His Majesty, I took the opportunity to give the rice to him. His Majesty then asked “What type of rice it was and what else I grow there.” When I finished answering His Majesty, he said “You are a good agriculturalist and as a singer your are very talented, I support you.”

In that moment, I could not hold back my tears anymore because they were tears of happiness. I was proud to be the son of Khun Mae Udom, that lived in the slums of Bang Kae as well. But one day His Majesty bestowed this much kindness on me, I have to thank the heavens, thank the monks, thank mom and dad, thank everyone who gave me the opportunity to stand at this point.

And finally I have to be thankful for the opportunity to be born in Thailand, a land that has a leader who is beyond great.

Reference : Article "Thongchai McIntyre - Tears of Happiness" on Praew magazine, issue 735, 10th April 2010

** Translated by May Sirinop